I called grandma today cos I just realized I have not talked to her for the past week.
We had a good chat and she sounded cheerful, until when I asked her "Are you doing alright?", she started to cry.

Sigh...dad asked her not to cry when she talks to me, cos this will upset me. I feel bad... Although she looks okay and happy on the appearance, deep down...deep down i know that she is heartbroke, afraid, sad, missing us...

There's tumor in her lung...I have no the least idea how is it doing inside already. Spreading? Maintaining? Getting lesser? Disappearing? I don't know... Maybe she might go anytime...sometime... I don't know.

I want to go home now...need to go home now... I wanna see her... :'(