~~

At Thanksgiving Dinner..sat down and get started with foods..

Me: You got tissues?

Jun: Yeap. *Pull out two

Me: Why you take two..

Jun: Cos I know you will not take any.

Me: Hee :)

婆婆走了。。

I still remember what was her last words to me before I left her room that afternoon. "记得要喝多多水哈“ I answered O, byebye! and left the room. From that time onwards, I never hear her talking again except the moaning sound which came out from her.

My uncles aunties always say that among all the grandchildren, Popo zui sayang wo. But I never really ponder about that. Popo bought most expensive watch for me compared to my sis, bought gold chain and gold anklet for me. When i need a pair of glasses, she insist that I take the money to get one. When I come back from KL, she will buy CRABS for me..a lot of them cos she knows I love to eat crabs. She will buy my favorite foods and ask me to come home to eat. When I need to return to KL, she would give me some pocket money. Knowing that I will need a huge amount of money to U.S.A, she gave me her savings which she can use for her medication. She bought me a lot of stuff, gave me a lot of stuff, nag me on a lot of stuff. She cared so much about me..but how much have I ever cared about her? Her sacrifice for me can never be payed back.

I prayed to God so that Popo will come back and reveal herself to me in my dreams to tell me her last words..or I tell her my last words. I really wish that would happen. I wanna dream of Popo in her white robes and a pretty halo above her head, smiling to me and telling me that she will always be watching me. I wanna dream of Popo giving me lots and lotsa advice again and this time I will tell her not to worry and will guai guai obey her. I wanna dream of Popo able to talk to me again and her old saggy face becomes beautiful again. I wanna know that Popo has already found her way to heaven and is enjoying her huge feast with other angels now. By then, popo will not face any pain because Jesus said, " “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” Revelation 21.

If I get to talk to Popo, I wanna promise her that I will study really hard here so all what she had given me will not be wasted. I wanna make you proud, Popo as you always have. Rest in peace my beloved one. Watch over me :)

God You are so so good!

I wanna boast about my God! :D

My God is good...despite the fact that I have "neglected" him for quite some time and have not been to church for some weeks :c but He loves me and still makes things go well for me. He answers my prayers - which are quite miraculous for me.


Table Fan
I prayed that I would be able to sell off my fan and books before I leave...just to ease that financial burden. I have asked quite a lot of juniors, but none of them wants. So one day a junior happened to be having lunch with us, and Chloe happened to ask him if he wants to buy her fridge. And the junior was reluctant. I used this opportunity to ask him if he wants my fan, guess what - his answer was "wo yao!" Okay, fan settled. Thank God. :)

I-20 form!
This is the least expected thing that could have happened to me. Us. The previous night I was praying - not really praying, just talking to God..so that the I-20 form would come as soon as possible so that I will be able to make Visa interview in JULY (during pre-departure briefing). Jun said the form was supposed to come after 10 working days after Thursday (1o Jun) as they have just shipped them on Wednesday. So it's supposed to come around 20th June. So this afternoon, it was raining heavily and we decided to stay back in school. When the rain gets smaller, something just prompted to me to tell Jun that why don't we go check out if the I-20 form has reached yet. We did not expect much because we think tak mungkin one lar...10 shipping days, it is still way long to go. But we just went. I reached the office and asked the officer. GUESS WHAT?! He said, Yeah, they just arrived this afternoon. I was overjoyed I wanted to jump! God...is really good to me. :)

Interview date
So we rushed to the library to continue filling out our Visa forms quickly. I checked the interview date, and there was 25 28 29 30th June available. But I can only book 25th June because I will be going back already on 27th. There was 22nd June, but after a 5-10 minutes, I checked back, and 22nd is already unavailable. So fast! We are scared that 25th will be booked out so I prayed to God that he has brought me this far, so please don't stop here. :) Indeed God never stops. After about 5 hours of completing the form and paying the fees, yeah, I got 25th. This means that I do not have to worry about coming back to and fro KL twice. God is good. :)

Book sold
I was on my way to study room and bumped into a junior, so I asked her is she wants to buy my book. And she said yes... I have two, but she wants only one because she has gotten the other one. But nevermind, I know God never fails me. The other book will be able to be sold out...because God is good to me! :)

All these happen in two days. During church's altar call, Pr. Kenneth says that the Holy Spirit has a theme for him for the preach of the day; that is to fill everyone in the church afresh. To be filled with the Holy Spirit and God's love again. Yeah, I admit I have neglected my God. But all these happenings, God's plans, is to remind me of Him again. And I was filled afresh. I love you God. :)

Wahahhahaaaaa~ =.= Just done dancing and bathed. It's time to bloggiee to release stress FIRST. Waiting for the Japanese people to leave study room so I can continue my practice. Last few days were a marathon of trips! Went to Genting 2 days 1 night and Malacca for a one-day trip.

Had so so so much fun at Genting ^^ We managed to get on almost all the rides in 7 hours. It was more than enough actually. The MOST unforgettable ride is the Ribena Tea Cup - Don't underestimate this ride and say it's only for seikia. Jun got me so so so pening I screamed to ask him to stop. =.= But he din't listen and keep spinning! I almost vomit in that tea cup. Bad! Corkscrew - Finally get to ride on corkscrew! ^^ The queue was quite long...but the ride is only 1 or 2 minutes? Short.. Corkscrew was awesome.
Boating - This is very romantic and cute ^^ Although it's kinda tiring...not for me but Jun cos he was the one who "tak" the boat all the time. Hee~ And we had "picnic" on the boat...ate the ham and sausages we da bao from morning breakfast.
Rejang river - Hee~ When we played this one it was raining quite heavily...and the boat drift so slowly along the thing and I din't bring my jacket along so I asked Jun to take out his umbrella. We were the only boat with umbrella ^^

I wish I'm from Malacca coz zhe li hen duo dong xi eattttt!!

Oh....tu ran thought of just now de hal... In church.. Pipi keep crying I don't know how to make her stop. And it's contagious...I cried too and the leaders and pastors come and talk to us.. Malu nyerr... Nose red red eyes red red...

Heeee~ It has been awhile since I last updated my bloggie.

These few weeks have been busy...busy of what?? Outings!! ^^

Most special outing would have been Kuantan...again. But this time it's different; we did not go anywhere hang kai, but only hotels and restaurants. ^^ Cos it's Jun's brother's wedding.

Visiting places and seeing new things are enjoyable and delightful. Well, have you seen an overhead bridge not only for cars to move along but also for people to get down to have their meals?? Hee~ Yea, there are McD and KFC on the highway itself.

Erm...have you seen dinner party where there is a Lok Lok stationed in front of the house, and you self-service go and boil your Lok Lok yourself? Yea, pick anything you like, clams, fishballs, sotong etc. and eat till you are full. P.S: West Malaysia de Lok Lok is different from ours; their Lok Lok is boil one, ours is fried.

Erh...besides the Lok Lok there is also Ais Kacang station. Hee! This one doesn't have self-service la of course..just tell the Indian man what you want and he will make for you.

About the wedding day, yeah, it is awesome. Jun is Chuck Bartowski and I'm Sarah Walker. Teehee~ The bride is verrrrrrry pretty! Looks just like a model. Dear and I became ushers in the hotel lobby but it was hell lots of fun. Haha~ Took a lot of pictures tim. And and and! Most of the guests are educators!! Got pengarah pendidikan la...penolong kanan...many guru besar...Jun's addmath teacher...=.= plus a lot of teachers jiu shi liao. Kinda funny seeing dear so paiseh meeting his teachers. Hihik.

Thanks for bringing so much laughter and experiences and greeeeaaat memories in my life :)

Gonna sleep now cos' tomorrow we are heading to Genting!

Nights..

What am I doing What am I thinking...I don't know. I'm a confused girl with a confused mind..

Mama goes into her bed. I enter the room and tuk tuk tuk her leg. I rub my tummy and she gets what I mean. And she laughs at me. She gets up and asks me what I want to eat. I don't answer and she asks me if I want maggi? I say yes, and we go down and cook together. Hihik...I'm still mummy's little girl. :')

Happy to be with you... :)

Hah! Summer summer summer....best time of my life..

I'm now lying on my tummy on my bed...dunno anything else to do so just scribble somethings in my mind now.

Hmm...Maybe I should list down what I have done and places I have been since the beginning of summer.. Okay...

1. Kuantan Trip with Jun (of course) and Jason. Best memories ever.. :)

2. BTN =.=

3. Sunway Pyramid...watched IP Man and Ice Kacang Puppy Love. Iron man? No! Bu hao kan la..

4. Melaka!! Great memories here too... Really love you dear.. :) Makan satay babi which is so so so tasty...

5. Go back home to Kuching.. Weeee!! Miss home! (Currently in Kch)

6. Genting this coming week :D Hopefully I can make it to the surprise party >.<

7. Kuantan again for Jun's koko wedding. Hee!

8. Pulau xxxxx Redang/Tioman/Penang? (Dunno yet)

9. And hopefully the list goes on.... Oh..and the same time I won't kosongkan my bank by the time I get home!

Lesson #3: MONEY chai

Ingredients: Garlic, eggs, oil, water, salt, msg, VEGE!

1. Fry some garlics.

2. Add eggs and fry them with garlics.

3. Wash vegetables and throw vegetables in.

4. Stir it around, then add water.

5. Cook some more and done! :D

Lesson #2: Fried fish

Ingredients: Oil, salt, FISHES!

1. Cut fishes' tummy and take out the lungs

2. Slit its body.

3. Put a bit of salt on the fishes and mix thoroughly.

4. Wash the salt off.

5. Add oil into wok and heat it up.

6. Fry the fish.

7. That's it! :D

Lesson #1: Spicy Crabs with Eggs

Ingredients: Garlic, onion, chili, ginger, 2 eggs, taoyou, MSG, curry powder, oil, CRABS!

1. Pour curry powder onto crabs and add some water. Mix them thoroughly.

2. Add oil into wok.

3. Cut onion, garlic (thick), ginger (wide to increase the surface area ;) ), chili (sideways) and throw everything into the wok and goreng it.

4. After a while, break two eggs into the wok and fry them.

5. Add crabs into wok and fry fry fry.

6. Add a bit bit of taoyou and msg and fry.

7. That's it! :D

HOME SWEET HOME!!

I can't describe this kinda feeling. Just feel so HOMIE!

Love my home.. :) And glad to see everybody here.

To be 'kiap'ed within 2 groups of enemies. What does it feel?

Sigh...I don't know who to side. This one say that selfish, that one say this selfish.

Best for me to keep quiet.

I don't know how to get rid of this feeling...although I tried and prayed. It still comes back.

I don't wanna say HATE this word, cos I don't wanna hate people. But why I hate her to this extent... I've never disliked anyone to this extent that I just don't want her to appear in front of me.

Plus people tell me bad things about her, and this just adds up to my feeling of "dislike" towards her.

Jun tell me not to get affected by her. He is right..why would I get affected by her. Even in church I can't concentrate.

I'll try to get rid of this feeling...but I will not put on a mask. Maybe only through prayers that I can change my mindset.


p/s: To my girl Melisa sim...if you are reading this, I wanna say thank you to you
for showing me that I'm not the only one facing such situation. Lolx. Hope you are able to overcome it too. Love ya..

I just found a new resolution.

I'm not gonna spend so much of my money on material stuff. Gonna save it for VACATIONS!

Wanna travel to many places, especially when I'm in the US.

WEEEEEE~

Saving money mode ON!

I called grandma today cos I just realized I have not talked to her for the past week.
We had a good chat and she sounded cheerful, until when I asked her "Are you doing alright?", she started to cry.

Sigh...dad asked her not to cry when she talks to me, cos this will upset me. I feel bad... Although she looks okay and happy on the appearance, deep down...deep down i know that she is heartbroke, afraid, sad, missing us...

There's tumor in her lung...I have no the least idea how is it doing inside already. Spreading? Maintaining? Getting lesser? Disappearing? I don't know... Maybe she might go anytime...sometime... I don't know.

I want to go home now...need to go home now... I wanna see her... :'(

Today marks the end of that anxiety. Thank GOD! God is good. :)

Day by day, I'm counting. Day by day, I'm thinking. Day by day, I'm contemplating. Day by day, I'm worried. Day by day, I'm confused...

The Last Song Ever

I wish my life was this song

cause songs they never die

I could write for years and years

and never have to cry I’d show you how I feel

with out saying a word

I could wrap up both our hearts

I no it sounds absurd

and i saw the tears on your face

i shot you down and i slammed the door

but couldn’t make a sound

so please stay sweet my dear

don’t hate me now

i cant tell how this last song ends

the way that i feel tonight so down

so down i pray i can swim just

so i wont drown and the waves that crash over me

i am gasping for air take my hand

so i can breath as i write this last song down

and i saw the tears on your face i shot you down

and i slammed the door but couldn’t make a sound

so please stay sweet my dear

don’t hate me now

i cant tell how this last song ends

the broken glass ..... your moistened skin

was everything was everything

and your broken voice ..... was quivering

your everything your everything

scream at me make it the best i ever heard

laugh out loud i no it sounds absurd

scream at me make it the best i ever heard

your everything your everything

heart beats slowing pains are growing

does she love you that’s worth knowing

heart beats slowing pains are growing

does she love you that’s worth knowing

EMO NEMO day.. :'c

Today we had our first Bible Study group lead by Ek Ying. 5 attended - Me, Qing De, Ting ting, Justina and Sundrina. :)

I prayed for Justina and Qing De - kinda nervous coz I had not been praying for people for a long time. I stuttered and I wanted to say 'led by' but came out 'leaded by' Lolx. @@

I think this is the best chance for me to grow in Christ and at the same time teach and learn from each other.

This is also the first time I had a task for a Christian group - prepare worship songs.

Hope I can keep this commitment to do something for Christ.

Haih...bye Kuching...

6th Day of CNY

Day 6 with Friends!

Outing with my hunnie! ^^ Always have to do the same thing every time I go her house. Go in her "make-up" room and rush her.

Kuai tian la! Kuai tian!!! Hmmph!

Sob...now got people replace me for being the one to open and lock her doors le.

Her boyfriend loh..

Hee~ Playing around while waiting for her.

At phyllis's house >>

Fried shrimps and Dim sum and etc. Thanks Auntie! Very "Kang kai!", like what Tim said. Hehe.

Puan Teng! ^^

Mummy hok ang pao

Me and Albert. He's leaving for Australia tomorrow.

Albert zai! Sat together in class in Primary 5 (he skipped Prim 4) and Form 5 sat with him kok. Remember this photo? ^^

From left to right: Albert, Larry, Ronaldo, Amanda, Timothy, Daniel, Nimai, Franklin, Phyllis, Me, Azizan ^^

That's all for Day 4! Tired but happy :)

5th Day of CNY

Haihh... My 2nd sis leaves for Subang today. The house becomes quieter without you here.

This is for you Pipi.

Which one is her boyfriend? Not in here! Boyfriend sendiri yang late. Tsk tsk...

4th Day of CNY

Fourth Day of CNY! :D Went to uncle no.4 house and ate. Uncle said this meals were specially cooked for me coz this year would be my last year in Kuching to celebrate CNY. Next year will be in Bee kok, Mui kuet, Obama hii peng etc, aka US liao. So they had a toast for me and it was so sweet!! Thanks everyone... Mom wept abit and kena tease. Tahaa! Awww... I'm sad too... :c

Anyways, pics pics!

Fuai dan

Talk talk talk~

My nice and cute 姑姑! who has taken care of me since I was a baby.

My cute and funny cousin!

After that went out with Jason Chen to some Intec Kuching friends' houses >> Wong Ek Ying, Loh Mei San, Kelvin Kho and Michael Boon.

Whole day 100 Plus, Shandy, Coke, peanuts, crispy seaweed, candies, bak gua, cookies.

Blearggh! @.@

Next >>

Awwww... Azizan and Cikgu Awang. ^^ My pal since tadika up till now. My mom used to send him to tadika and his dad send me back. Leaving for Japan soon. Keep in touch!

At night these kaki judi come my house puak. Ah Sim the DOUBLE! and 21! queen. Lolx!

Ah Tang uncle (black shirt) the zheng ke. Sapu a lot moneys home =.=

Tata! That's all for the fourth day. Wan an!

3rd Day of CNY

I woke up today and already the talking and shouting and laughing from downstairs was louder than firecracker we put on the first day... Today is the third day of CNY!! :P

Nothing much...just gamble gamble gamble nia.

Pics pics!

Puak kiao at Jason Chen's house

At Uncle Kiong house

That's all. Pictures taken are so few on this day.

2nd Day of CNY

Today is the second day of CNY. Visited my popo and ah ma.

Papa and popo

Us and Ah ma

Next Ee ee’s (mummy’s sis) house. It’s great to see them again after such a long time. J

They are leaving for aussie tomorrow.

*Cousins*

Then after visiting old people now all relatives come my house eat (cos my dad is the eldest son). Mama cook a lot yummy dishes. “Kiam chai ark teng” (Duck + salted vegetable soup)

My favourite :'D

Chap cai

Steamed fish

Cha bee hoon

Pork leg

Kidos

Baby blue~

Gamble gamble~

When we were babies

Then we visited our Nai ma (babysitter). Hihik. They are such sweet and loud and funny people ^^. She told us our baby stories that made me laugh non-stop. My mom complained to her that when I was a baby I always cried at night. Then naima say I always slept in the afternoon, you will never see my eyes open in the afternoon one. Lolx! I just realized afternoon nap is my must-do thing since I was a baby. That is why I am always awake at night.

Bi’s story is that when she was a baby, naima put her into the baby cage and let her watch TV. And her favorite programme was Indian movies (kek leng hee, xiang sukak one). Then one day she was watching one, and naima in the kitchen doing something else. Then she suddenly heard bibi cried so loud and rushed to see her. Baru then she realized that bi crying because the guy in the movie was gonna murder a baby. Haha! So cute..

Ahui’s story is…no story cos she did not get babysitted. Naima just say that when people see her they called her “O ka na” means black dates, cos she had dark skin when she was a baby and she’s got curly hair. Mama say it looks like cabbage cos its really puffed up when she wakes. Keekee.

When we were baby the three of us always make mama angry. Mama very xing ku de last time. When she worked, she had to watch over us and do the house chores. One day mama bought one packet of sugar and picked us up from babysitter. When she reached home she cooked for us, and we were at upstairs playing. When she got up, she was so mad when she saw the sugar was poured on the bed and all over the floor. And it was us playing with the sugar. Hee.

And when I was baby I love to play with the standing fan. I always shout and sing in front of the fan and hear that vibrating voice. When I was playing with it, I suddenly got my hair tangled up on the fan. And papa had to spend his time untangling my hair. Huhu..

This is a picture of my babysitter's son and grandsons. Such lovely people :)

Now it’s already 12.30am. Parents still talking to uncle aunty, ah boi terng chu kok. And wa ai kun lioa lo. Zzz. That’s the end of the second day of CNY. Awaiting for the 3rd day! (Bi leaving on the fourth day…L)